i come so far, i'm behind again

yeah that words always stuck around me

"i come so far, i'm behind again
i wish so hard, i'm there again"

sumtimes this is juz to0 much for me to take
astarfirulah halazim..
i dunno until when i can stand with all this
things always turn like this agian..again..n again :(

mmmm

itz been quite a long time since the last time i feel so0 damn hopeless like this..

Biase pepatah melayu cakap

'sediakan payung sebelum hujan'

tp aku rse situasi aku ni macam

aku sediakan payung utk hujan unsur air

tp yg datang nye hujan api or hujan batu 

so payung yang aku sedikan pon x de gune lg

situasi lain..

macam nak amik exam study bahasa melayu

tp last2 amik exam english

mmg xde kene mengena

nak patah balik pon x boleh

waAaAAaaAa

no title.. eh wait.."never back down" mayB..

i wish i can be more stronger then this..

much much more stronger

cuz itz not easy to handle this "career n life" stuff

cuz give up or fail is not an option in it

therez sumting that u can give up with

and therez sumting that u cant give up

cuz if u give up in ur 'career n life'

that mean total WASTE

after a year of effort

mayb i need to go back to the start again

i feel so0 "down"

but still i refuse to say that it "useless"

start from that time until now

this words still b my fev..

"and when the time is hard, therez no way to turn

as he promise us, he always be there"

I need to have faith in that

keep on believe in it

never doubt

at all time

my last words

NEVER BACK DOWN

inshaAllah

aminn

kita tak kan tahu kedaan orang selagi kita tak berada di tempat dia..

ow-k final exam utk student2 aku da nak datang..
so sebagai cikgu aku rse time cam ni la agak stress sket..
banyak bende nak kne buat woo..sbb aku ajar subject masakan
so nak kne wat
-order bahan
- recipe yg sesuai utk tahap student
-training diorg smpi pandai masak
-documentasi exam
-file portfolio sijilkemahiran malaysia
-set tarikh exam
-set peralatan memasak n etc
mmg rse 2minggu ni confem pening pikir laa..

ow-k tu bru mukadimah je..hahaha
isi utama die ialah seperti tajuk di atas
"kita tak kan tahu kedaan orang selagi kita tak berada di tempat dia"

dulu time skola slalu pikir..jd cikgu ni tak susah pon..
ye la..blaja tinggi2 pas tu ajar budak skola kan
so ape yang ssh nye..diorg kan da pandai gile..
tp skang da jadi cikgu baru la tau..
perhh..mengaja ni bukan bende senang..
bkan sume yang kita ajar tu org boleh paham
kadang2 aku yang lagi pening dr student aku
hahaha
pastu klu ade yg nakal2 n melawan tu.
sakit hati tak yah cite la..
ade la rase nak bg penampa,penyepak n pijak2 je
tp sbb aku cikgu yg baik..aku saba ahaaaa :p

tibe2 kan skang aku rse cm nak g jumpe cikgu aku dlu2 n mintak maaf
sbb dlu aku ni extrime la nakal
slalu xsiap keje skola n tido je..
dlu ingat xpe..bende ni kecik je
tp da jd cikgu bru tau..sure dlu cikgu aku pon sakit dada tahan sabar kot
peranagi murid yang x serupa org ni kan..huhuhu
so betul laa..what goes around come around.. hahaha

again..again..n again

i make a same mistake again..
again..again..n again
juz the same thing..
I DREAM TOO MUCH N SO HEIGHT..

Itz the most dengerous thing to do huh..
cuz when the dream are to height
U will fall so deep..
all thing will fall apart one by one
n u cant control the situation anymore..
n that what hapen to me..

kadang2 mmg senang mulut cakap ikhlas
niat dalam hati dalam-dalam "ikhlas"
siap plan 'klu dapat syukur, klu x dapat redha"
tp bile ape yg disangkakan x menjadi
perbuatan tu da cam x jd ikhlas dah
sume bende dlm perancangan hilang..
mungkin aku blom betul2 ikhlas kot..
tah la..Wallahualam

when the time is hard..

i think i'v change so0 much..
but the prob that i need to face is still the same..
again n again..my own self conflict mayB..
mayB it  juz me the only one who think that way..
cuz i am me after all huh..

i really hope there will be sumone for me to talk to
but mayB it juz me that to0 scared to share it with other

in the time like this..
theres no turning back
i'm the one who choose this path..
itz hard for me to smile but still i refuse to cry..

i'm strong..i belive i do.
cuz i still servive till now..
so juz need to be patient
keep the hard work..inshaAllah

suddently this word across my mind
"jangan berhenti dari mengharapkan pertolongan dan rahmat Allah"
hope fully i wont n keep on with what i do..
inshaAllah..amin..

"alhamdulilah" my theme song for this Ramadhan

  salam..juz wanna share some lyric with all of you that i think itz a good and very meaningful..this song is from maher zain n the title is "Alhamdulilah". 

 For me itz not juz random songs cuz this song is telling the truth about us..how far we been slip from the right way of Islam n did we always remember about our creator?? but if u r juz in track Alhamdulilah :) 

  MayB some will think i juz wanna show off o "tunjuk baik" but for me it juz good stuuf that i wanna share with other moreover now is Ramadhan rite..I'm not a good Muslim n  I admit it, but i'm trying my best to change..InshaAllah.. 

I was so far from you
Yet to me you were always so close
I wandered lost in the dark
I closed my eyes toward the signs
You put in my way
I walked everyday
Further and further away from you
Ooooo Allah, you brought me home
I thank You with every breath I take.

I never thought about
All the things you have given to me
I never thanked you once
I was too proud to see the truth
And prostrate to you
Until I took the first step
And that’s when you opened the doors for me
Now Allah, I realized what I was missing
By being far from you.

Allah, I wanna thank You
I wanna thank you for all the things that you’ve done
You’ve done for me through all my years I’ve been lost
You guided me from all the ways that were wrong
And did you give me hope

I wanna thank You for bringing me home

Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah
Alhamdulillah, Elhamdulillah
All praises to Allah, All praises to Allah.